Sunday, September 19, 2010

Oh boy, something (or someone) really pissed me off today and I just have to rant about it here. So you know how in my last post I mentioned sending a really long, rambling message to this guy about how unhappy I am here?
Well, I guess I am going to have to map out how I know him/ our whole relationship. Really, there's not much to tell. Basically, he really liked me, and he would come to the club I waitressed at and buy really expensive bottles of champagne, like $2,000, to try and get me into the champagne room with him. Because I was only a waitress, I wasn't technically allowed in the rooms unless the guy really spent the big bucks to get me in there, which this guy was willing to do. So I would get the commission off the bottle and he would tip me an additional 300 or so dollars. He did this a couple times, but I NEVER asked him to at all. Never even suggested it. In all honesty, it made me feel slightly awkward b/c I knew him outside the club and we had mutual acquaintences, but if he wanted to throw his money at me, who was I to stop him?
So we went out a couple times, and I just wasn't feeling it. The one thing I regret doing was that I stood him up a couple times. I ended up making it very clear to him that I wasn't interested, but we still talked and saw each other. The last time I saw him we went out to eat and he was a complete gentlemen, but just as friends. So I had assumed that things between us were cool, that he had let go of the fact that I wasn't into him and forgiven me for standing him up. He never gave me any reason to think otherwise.
So yesterday, in my state of depression, I emailed him asking what I should do and basically telling him a lot of things that I don't really feel comfortable telling anyone, like how I feel I have to rely on my looks to make money and how I am lonely here. Just things that I felt were very private that I don't like admitting. And like I said, it wasn't like we were bffs and I felt a little embarrassed for admitting all that to him, but I wasnt' expecting his response.
He emailed me back giving some practical advice about my lease and law school, then ended his response with this little gem: 
I must say I find it surprising that you were asking for my advice in such  serious matter. I never got the impression we were very close, and although I was clearly interested in you, you were equally clearly not interested in me. So I find it very odd that you would be asking me.
Or something like that; I'm actually paraphrasing as I was so mad I deleted the message as soon as I got it. Actually, not mad at first, but humilitated and upset and betrayed. I really trusted telling this guy and told him personal stuff about myself with the impression that we had left as friends. Clearly though, I'm not allowed to ask for his advice or help unless I've fucked him, which I was not going to do. And clearly his ego is still bruised from me rejecting him, something which I thought he had gotten over. I mean I love how I genuinely was just asking for his advice and some sympathy, and he brings up the fact that I rejected him, as though to point in my face and laugh.
I just feel like if you are depressed and making yourself vulnerable/exposing yourself to someone and they use that as an opportunity to get back at you for something you had no idea they were still upset about, then that is a very cruel and vindictive thing to do. I would LOVE to go back to New Orleans and give this d-bag a piece of my mind. For now, I've defreinded and blocked him on FB and deleted his number. I really just never want to look at him again.

No comments:

Post a Comment